You remember those commercials? Sadly, I do. Anyways, it's a great line leading me to ask you guys one thing... HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FREAKIN' MIND?! I saw something the other night that reminds me of an incident that happened to me many, many years ago. I happened to catch a guy in a crowd watching a little brunette. As she happened to brush past him, he non-chalantly (or so he thought) reached down and gave her a little tap on the rear end as he pretended to be reaching into his front pocket. I mean... Seriously? What? She look like produce at Wal-Mart to you? She was much more of a lady about it than I would have been I can tell you that.
Now I know when you're in a crowd it's easy to bump somebody and I've accidentally done it myself. But guys, it doesn't mean we're a bunch of free range chickens for you to pluck up. Let me give you a little food for thought so to speak.
Again, many (many) years ago I was walking through a crowded bar looking for my friend when without warning or provocation, I was groped from behind... and when I say groped I mean he grabbed on like a drowning man hugging a life preserver. Now, I'm a tiny little thing (I know 6th graders bigger than me) and this guy was a fair bit bigger than myself. I was so shocked I instinctively turned around and took a swing at him, breaking his nose. I'm not proud of that behavior so don't get me wrong. But when blood went everywhere and he squealed like a pig under a gate, I informed him in no uncertain terms he was lucky his nose was the part of his anatomy I made contact with. You should've seen him trying to explain what happened to the bouncer. And while I did get bounced out of there, I'd be willing to bet that guy never grabbed a woman on the rear end again...
The moral of the story today is if you see something you like, we prefer you keep the squeezing to your produce. Otherwise, it could be about as smart as reaching out for the last piece of chicken when the lights go out and everyone around you is armed with a fork.
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