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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

DESPERATION NOT INSPIRATION

When it comes to dating, ever wonder what the distance is between the two? My theory is about 50 miles of bad dates!  I was recently asked if this blog was going to be a 'how to' guide for dating.  My response? If I could write a 'how to' do you think I'd still be single? No.  What I can say is it's more of a 'how NOT to'.  After all, in my opinion, how can you write a 'how TO' unless you've been through a lot of 'how NOT to' anyway?

One thing I've learned is you never know where you're going to meet someone so you should always at least comb your ponytail and make sure your eyeliner isn't doubling for blush.  Yes, that really happened to me, yes it was in Wal-Mart and yes he was cute.  But that wasn't the worst of it; turns out I had a hole in the seat of my jeans and my shirt didn't quite cover it up.  Unfortunately, it was pointed out by a kind friend I happened to run across AFTER I saw Mr. U. R. Cute. I guess it could've been worse - I could've ended up on the "Wal-Mart People" site. 

So consider this blog not so much the fruit of my labor as the salt of my tears.  But hey you never know.  Like they say "Even a blind squirrel gets an acorn every once in a while".  Wait, I just compared myself to a rodent and a date to a nut.  Hmm.  Maybe that's why I'm single?! Again, there's that 'how not to'.  


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Two's Company, Three's a Crowd

You can't fight a ghost.  There really is a lot of truth in that one.  When you're in a relationship with someone it's my opinion there are more than just the 2 of you in the room.  I'm not just talking about kids here.  In this case I'm talking about exes.  We all have at least 1 or 2 (or 12) by this point in our lives and some are more significant than others.  

If you've ever walked through an old Antebellum home in the Deep South you can understand the feeling of a 'presence' near you.  The only difference here is it isn't Uncle Henry with a moonshine jug chasing a damn yankee through the dining room.   No, this one actually has a pulse - and a cell phone. Question is, how do you exorcise it?  Short answer is, you don't.  Uncle Henry has a better chance at catching his yankee.

What I can tell you is if you see a person online or meet someone you think you could be interested in and you find out they're 'separated' then proceed with extreme caution. If separated were on a traffic sign it's symbol would be a s-curve!  And we all know what happens if you try to straighten out one of those! 

You always run the risk of a third presence in a relationship but if someone's just separated the risk is nuclear! The good thing about living in a small town is you have a better shot at knowing all the parties involved. 

If you'd like one of my infamous examples - here you go.  I once met someone who was in the early stages of a divorce (ok, ok, separated but filed).  Anyway, he made no bones about the fact of what his situation was so at least I had a heads up.  I was only ever introduced as a 'friend' which was ok with me at first.  The tide turned when one day we were taking a leisurely drive in the country and suddenly he shoved me down in the car as we just happened by a relative of his ex.  (There's that small town thing). As I bounced back up, covered in coffee, I realized I was being taken for a ride in more ways than one.  That relationship ended up having more twists and turns than a Louisiana politician.  

To me, divorce means the pasture gate is wide open and latched back while separation's pasture gate swings haplessly in the breeze... and you don't want that gate to hit you on the way out. 
  

Monday, August 29, 2011

In the News

I saw something on the news this morning that goes hand in hand with one of the things I've been blogging about - not being a phony.  Here's the funny thing - the experts say "don't be a phony".  Really? No kidding? Well, duh.  The article I saw, however, addressed only the women not being phony, i.e., about their relationship needs, their looks.  

But what about the men? Just as many men tend to be less than honest about those things too in my experience.  Out here, though, it's usually about things like - "I can ride anything that has hair and hooves" and that may be true - if it's at a petting zoo.  Or how about "I own 1,000 acres" (of course that's only on his country version of Monopoly).  

One thing I've found in common is the fib surrounding the relationship need.  Whether city or country boys, I've heard it from both "I want someone I can come home to, someone I can rely on, someone I can curl up with night after night".  Now if you're like me, when you hear that you think to yourself 'wow he's looking for the same thing I am'.  You continue to talk, he says all the right things, you feel like this could be the one, so you go out for the first time.  That's when you realize what he meant was he only wants to come to your home, and is relying on you to curl up with him that night.  

Take it from me ladies, if all you're hearing is what he wants you to, then I suggest you invest in a hearing aid - like, say, your best friend!


Saturday, August 27, 2011

It Ain't Bragging...

You've heard that saying before haven't you? 'It ain't bragging if you can do it.'  Whoever invented that must've been at a bar on Saturday night around here.  Recently I had occasion to go out with a girlfriend to a local dancehall.  You can learn a lot more by just standing around and listening.  It always tickles me to listen to a group of guys trying to 'one up' each other.  In all fairness to the guys here though, we girls have been prone to doing the same thing.  I can't tell you how many cousins of Gisselle must be in these parts.

Anyway, I was standing next to 3 'cowboys' (I use that term as loosely here as you would to describe one of the Jersey Shore girls as a 'lady').  As the night and beer wore on, I saw a transformation right in front of me.  One by one their fairy beer mother turned them into PRCA bullriders.  (At least they got the bull right).  But, with each lady they attempted to woo, their tales of daring rides and life altering experiences grew larger.  Thing is, I knew one of these guys and the closest he EVER got to a bull was a steak at Texas Roadhouse.  

Many, many decades back, I dated a guy like that.  His bragging must have loved alcohol because that's where he kept finding it... the bottom of a beer bottle.  One evening as lots of us were gathered around a bonfire he was on a roll and decided it was time to pick on his date - me.  It started out with him going  on and on about what a better rider he was (although he didn't own a horse as long as I knew him).  For whatever reason, he felt that was the perfect segway to inform the women there of what he believed to be his sexual prowess.  That was it, that was the end of the line for my patience and my temper.  At one point he made the quip "It ain't the size of the wave, it's the motion of the ocean" to which I replied "Then that would make you the Dead Sea".  Yep, you guessed it - I had to find another ride home that night.

So what do we take from this? If you're gonna brag, you better make sure you've got the spurs!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

You Know You're In Trouble When...

Here are some things to think about as you get ready for that big Saturday night date.

Guys, You know You're in Trouble When...
1.  Your date's best friend calls you by another man's name even after you're introduced. 
2.  Your date returns from the restroom looking at their phone and 2 minutes later they're sprinting out after informing you of a sudden emergency.
3.  The date you had last night walks in and the date you're with tonight knows them.

Of course you could also be in trouble when...
1.  Your first date is going well until you realize they know your last name - but you didn't give it to them.
2.  Your date changed their Facebook status to 'in a relationship' - before the 2nd beer.
3.  The blind date your mother set you up with just walked in and you realize it's the girl you just got rid of after a month of playing hide and seek. (Of course your mother's setting you up on a blind date is a whole other issue).    

What I'd like to know is how many of you are saying "Those things couldn't happen to me" and how many are saying "Wow, that one, that one AND that one happened to me".  It is tougher dating in the country than in the city sometimes because it's more likely that someone close by knows your business.  Who needs the paparazzi out here when your cousin's at the next table? 

And you can bet the more awkward the situation, the more likely it is that someone you know just witnessed it. After all, in the country we had our own version of posting long before Facebook.  It's called the gossip fence and unfortunately for most you never have to worry about IT crashing!  

And there you have it - Thursday's turmoil.  

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Leading the Way

Ladies, I have a question for you:  When you're out at a club do you always wait for a guy to ask you to dance or do you do the asking?  I know times have changed but I'm still a little old-fashioned so I prefer the guy ask.  This can get a little sticky though.

One thing I've observed is through the course of the night an odd thing happens (more than one depending on where you're at). Early in the night it looks like a jr high prom; everyone standing around, staring at one another, sipping their refreshments.  As the night wears on and so does the alcohol I believe there could be an actual mathematical equation calculated that would show the amount of activity on the dance floor is in direct proportion to the amount of activity at the bar.

On occasion I've just stood back and watched the people around me, trying to assess their situation not to mention their inebriated status to see what they're going to do.  For one thing, if a girl is surrounded by a entourage a guy is much less apt to ask her to dance unless half of them are already holding her up.  A lone wolf is much easier prey.   And I just love it when a crowd of guys send 1 of their own to the front line with a six year old's cry of 'I DARE YOU!'  Those rarely end well.

Well, now that you're on the dance floor another dilemma rears its ugly head.  Just who's leading this thing?  You suddenly realize you're going to come off the floor with arms 2 inches longer than when you went on it if you don't do something.  So you gently try to backlead, holding yourself at bay just slightly.  Unfortunately he caught on and informs you that HE is leading and knows what HE is doing.  Promptly thereafter you find he's exuberantly flung you halfway across the dancefloor.  My advice here: LOOK FOR AN OFF RAMP.

I suppose it's all about courage in oneself or, lacking that, liquid courage. And who hasn't had a shot or 12 of that?! Yes, including me.  As for me, I prefer to be asked by someone who is relatively sober (less likely to fall), has manners (less likely to fling) and a firmer handshake than mine (less likely to dance fail).  Then again, waiting on all of this may be why I don't get asked much.

Here's to finding your new dance partner... You never know where that dance might lead.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tuesday Tickler

Let's start off with - I broke my toe on Saturday morning.  If you're like me, you start off everyday with a large cup of coffee (more like large pot of coffee for me).  Here's a lesson I just learned the hard way.  Be very careful what you do pre-coffee.  As I stumbled around, trying to wake up, I stumbled right into a nightstand.  It's been there for 2 1/2 years, I don't know why I thought it had moved. As I jumped around like a frog on a pogo stick, and uttering a few choice words it came to me - I'm moving that dang coffee pot to the nightstand!  That way, I wouldn't have to wait to get to the kitchen to wake up. Since that's not practical then from now on I'm going straight to the coffee rather than wait on another calamity.

Here's where I'm going with this.  It all goes back to the saying "Good things come to those who wait".   You know what I'm talking about.  Whether it's that highly anticipated - or sometimes dreaded - phone call, text, email, pregnancy test, we've all been there. Right? 

Example: Step 1) You meet someone like say at the grocery store (or a restaurant) and as you talk the chemistry builds and Step 2) they ask for your number.  Now,  Step 3) the hard part - THE WAITING.  Any time your phone rings, you jump; when it doesn't ring, you look at it anyway, wondering if you accidentally shut it off.  Your anxiety continues to build (course that could be the 5 cups of coffee you had first thing too) and then the inevitable Step 4) all the usual things cross your mind, i.e., he must've lost my number, maybe I gave him the wrong number (damn), maybe his ex-wife showed back up and swept him off his feet.  Wait.  What? (That's a whole other blog entry). 

And just when you're about to give up - he calls. You see a number come up you don't recognize so that's got to be his. In that split second your knees go weak at that instant thought "What if he's calling to reject me?" Now obviously as you chat away the butterflies leave especially when he informs you HE had been afraid to call at first, worried about rejection.  After the conversation is over you realize, that wasn't really so bad after all now was it? All that waiting and worrying and wondering (and fear) for nothing.  If that had been your child getting a shot at the doctor's office they would've deserved a lollipop (we'll take coffee).

Moral of the story: Moving too quick can break your heart like it can break a toe.

Terrific Tuesday to All!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Careful What You Wish For...

It is Monday after all.  Here we are at the start of a new week and new school year.  Can you believe it? Where did the summer go? It went out faster than Donald Trump's hair gel! 

Maybe now we can look forward to cooler temperatures, shorter days and football! But then shortly thereafter comes colder temperatures, really short days and busted pipes.  There's that careful what you wish for thing.

As I've been pasture perusing a few things have come to my attention.  For one thing, it's lonely on the high plains of partnerless.  So when it seems there's nothing to look at in front of you, the natural tendency is to look backward.  Now normally, I probably wouldn't recommend that but in this case I am.  It's given me a new perspective on the present.  

You see, one of my biggest pet peeves is not being able to find someone who can simply accept me for me.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know - everybody always says "I can accept you".  But truth be told what they're really saying is "I can accept you - as long as you're perfect".  It always makes me giggle when I see on someone's profile the tagline "I'm not looking for Mr./Miss Perfect, just perfect for me"... Poppycock!  Very next thing they're wanting more pictures from you.  If you're only wanting 'perfect for me' then why do you ask for more pictures instead of more information? 

I've had several of my married/involved friends say to me since I started this blog how grateful it makes them for their partner and to not be out on the singles scene because it's so insane these days. Believe me, I hear ya!  I've even had married people knock on my profile door.  Of course to them, my response is "If you're doing this then do you know where your wife is?"  Hmm.  Something to think about isn't it!   

If a genie appeared and granted you 3 wishes here's what NOT to wish for:  a new house (you'll just pay more in taxes), a new car (it'll cost more in insurance), a new partner (the one you have now knows all your secrets and what you look like first thing in the morning!)

Here's wishing you all a great day!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Dressing the Part

Well another weekend has seen the dawn of a beautiful Sunday.  Sunday is my favorite day of the week.  It's as full of promise as Saturday night is full of s**t. It's so disheartening sometimes being on the singles scene. You know the saying feeling like the air went out of a balloon? That's right.  Of course if that's the case it probably means it was just a lot of hot air in the first place.

For me, I refuse to settle.  I know somewhere out there is a guy who can appreciate me for who I am and what I have to offer. I haven't found the right pasture gate yet but I'll keep riding the fence line til I do. My nails aren't done and my hands are calloused from the work I do but that just means they're strong enough to hold you at the end of a bad day.  I don't have the Farrah Fawcett face but my eyes will always be wide open to you.  My frame is tiny but muscled with a strength more than physical. 

Living in the country I think gives you the opportunity to see more clearly than in the city in more ways than one. So for you wannabes out there, be careful. We can spot a new pair of Wranglers a mile away so if you're gonna dress the part you better have the boots to back it up.  And remember guys - telling a lady you're looking for a 'buddy' or a 'friend', we know is actually code for there's a redhead somewhere online that suddenly appeals to you.  

My advice is, I can tell you now, if you continue to look for only what a picture has to offer rather than the person you're going to end up with an empty photograph and a empty life (and photographs fade). 


Saturday, August 20, 2011

When is it right to...

When do you tell the kids about the person you're dating? This has been a dilemma from time to time for me and I'm sure it has for you as well, moms and dads alike.  I've been single for several years and although I've had a few relationships I have only introduced my kids to one person.  Now my kids are teenagers and perhaps I'm being a bit overprotective but I feel like that's a step that should not be taken lightly.  

After dating someone for a couple of months I decided it was settling in and time to introduce the kids.  I had already met his kids - at THEIR request (they were teens too).  Feeling like I was kinda in a corner I ignored my instincts, bit the bullet and told mine I was dating someone.  Of course my daughter looked at me with the great big "well duh" look.  I'm guessing the fact that I'd been in a better than usual mood gave me away.

I even changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship". I had no idea my personal life was of such interest.  You know your love life sucks when you get responses like "Wow, you're really dating someone?" or "Congratulations", or my personal favorite "It's about time".

But what goes up must come down and with me what comes down usually rolls downhill like a boulder down the Grand Canyon.  After the 'getting to know you' phase it seemed like everything was going just fine... Right up to the point I found out the man I thought now had my heart also had various parts of other women too if you know what I mean!  (Remember the earlier blog about catching the cheating boyfriend on a dating website?) That was him.   Of course my only consolation out of that whole ordeal was the old saying "If they did it with you, they'll do it to you" so buyer beware on that one ladies.

Less than one month after meeting him I had to tell the kids he was history.  And I won't even mention the Facebook comments when I changed my status back to single! Although, I swear I think some people probably had a pool going but I never heard who won the bet! 

So, my single saddle pals, you know how a colt gets when you don't pay attention to it and work it often enough? He thanks you by placing you squarely in the middle of the round pen on the seat of your Wranglers looking at you as if to say "Remember me now?".  Well, same thing's true about instincts.  If we don't pay attention to them, we can just as easily land on our Wranglers rather than our boots.


Friday, August 19, 2011

FADE TO BLACK

We've all had this happen I'm sure.  You meet someone, you chat, you text and you email constantly; like high school teens giddy at the prospect.  Then you finally go out.  You have a nice time and can't wait to tell your friends all about it... Uh-oh...  Hello, is this thing on?! Can you hear me now? Where'd those crickets come from? 

Wow, didn't see that one coming.  You went from 10 text, 5 email, and 2 phone calls a day to ZERO.   No explanation, no voicemail, no nothing.  Just bye-bye birdie.  So you wait a few days and try again.  The innocuous text "How's it going?" then you wait... and wait... and yep, wait some more.  

I know the guys looking at this are saying "Hey, don't just hammer on us. I've had a woman do the same thing." And they'd be right. And I must confess I've done it myself in the past. Like Harry Potter vanishing under his invisibility cloak, just not responding gives the ILLUSION of total human evaporation.  But we all know that's not the case.

Dating etiquette sure has changed over the years.  Gone are the days of a guy sweating nervously at your front door, wondering how big your daddy is and the approximate location of the household shotgun.  Now you greet on the phone and/or internet before you meet at the local restaurant or bar.  As the night goes along you think to yourself "This just might work".  At the end of the night he assures you he'll call/text tomorrow. You have no reason to disbelieve that; after all he said he would.  Right?

But like the end of a movie where the screen fades to black so does the communication trail. Why do we do that?  You wouldn't dare do that to someone from your same rural area.  Believe me, word spreads like poison ivy out here.  If you did that to someone local you'd still be taking your cousin to the dance two years from now.  

So then why would you do that to ANYONE? All of the channels of communication we have now, and we still keep finding ways to talk less.  I've had guys and girls tell me it's easier to fade to black because they don't want to 'hurt the other person's feelings'.  Umm, like not calling/texting or returning the same doesn't hurt? 

Remember, stumbling around in the dark can get you hurt much worse than turning on a light.  So rather than just fade to black, extend a little ray of light.  You may be surprised at what you see. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Mirror has Two Faces

I think guys are more 'visually' stimulated when first meeting someone making them ironically visually impaired because while they know they're not perfect deep down they really do want a woman who is closer than they are.  But isn't that what we ALL want? Problem is we have to decide how far back from the mirror we want to stand to see what we want to see. 

I know we've all done it.  We've stood back from the mirror admiring our reflection from a distance (aka the honeymoon distance) and thought "Wow that looks good" so we get closer and suddenly we see what we didn't want to see (post-honeymoon distance).  So what do we do? We close our eyes, convince ourselves there's something wrong with the mirror, and then look again, carefully through a squinted eye.  Aww, there, it's gone now (second honeymoon)... Whether it's that extra weight we thought was there a minute ago, or those few more noticeable gray hairs. What we don't want to realize is - it was there all along we just needed a closer look.  

Now let's take that and apply it to our relationship quest.  Admit it, we've done it there too.  We've gone out with someone who at first glance looked adorable, charming and, well, perfect (honeymoon).  Then we get closer to the mirror and realize maybe they're not all that perfect (post-honeymoon); so again, we close our eyes, convince ourselves there's something wrong with the mirror, and look again... Nope still not perfect. What? Wait.  What do you mean 'not perfect'.  That can't be right.  I want that second honeymoon!

Well, it's not right but it is life.  I mean come on.  Do we really, really want perfect? Gees think how hard that would be to keep up with.  So that's where the 'two faces' comes in.  While we THINK we want perfect, if we stand still long enough to thoroughly look at what the reflection is telling us we would see that what we're really looking for is someone who can reflect back our own good parts while deflecting the not-so-good ones. Now that would be a real vision of beauty.

The moral of today's story is: While we may look in a fitting room or bathroom mirror to evaluate our appearance, the mirror for evaluating others is a reflection that bounces off ourselves.  What do YOU want to see?


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Picture and the Delete Key

I've done it!  I've broke the genetic code that makes up a loser.  It was SO simple  I don't know how I could've missed it.  For the DNA to be just right you take equal parts of Liar and User, mix lightly and there you have it:  Liar + User = Luser (pronounced Loser).  Ok, well, you get the picture.

If only it were that simple.  Ironic actually how complicated it can get when lying becomes a factor of any equation.  That's part of the problem with online dating - it allows for a cloak of anonymity that extends far beyond the physical.  Living in the country, I thought online dating was a natural outlet for meeting the ever elusive Mr. Right. 

One thing I found out is whether you live in the city or country, when it comes to online dating proceed with caution.  Many sites offer the chance to post or not post a picture.  The saying "A picture's worth a thousand words" certainly found a new home with online dating.  Let me demonstrate.  

I once dated someone that I met through friends for a few months and thought we were in a monogamous relationship (you know mutually exclusive).  I guess I thought so because he kept telling me he wanted no one else and wasn't looking for anyone else and I felt the same.  Anyway, he started acting strangely and remembering he had once stated he had tried the dating websites I decided to go fishing.  Sure enough, there he was - and he had just been online earlier that same day.  Now I don't know about you but to me mutually exclusive doesn't just mean a high-end sale at Neiman Marcus! I have a couple gal pals that were on that site so I decided we'd play a little hide and seek.  Boy did he take the bait - with both of them.  When confronted he tried to lie and explain his way out.  "It wasn't me... It was a friend on my profile...Someone hacked my profile..." You know the standard evasive answers.  Kinda like "The dog ate my homework".  

So, guys (and probably girls too), here's a word to the wise.  If you're in a committed relationship, you should have no reason to be on the dating websites.  If you must continue, however, here's an idea:  DON'T POST YOUR PICTURE!!  That falls into that ever popular category of "Things that make you go duh!"  

I don't want anyone getting the idea that I'm totally 'dissing' the dating websites.  It's not their fault.  I have actually met some very nice people on these sites and remain in contact as friends with them.  That I would say is a pro point for the sites; you do have the opportunity to talk with and sometimes meet interesting people you wouldn't otherwise have the chance to.  Again, this is why being in the country I posted on a couple of them.  A very wise economics professor of mine once said "You can never have too much money or too many friends."  He was right.   

Today's Ponder Point:  If a picture really is worth a thousand words, the delete key must be close to priceless.


Monday, August 15, 2011

"Just Another Manic Monday" Part II

I love my work.  Yes, I really do love my work.  Even when it's 105 with a heat index of 115 I prefer what I do over being behind a computer 24/7.  Animals can teach us a lot if we take the time to pay attention.  They can love unconditionally and when they look up at you with those soft eyes pleading "HEY FEED ME!!" well, you just melt.

I have had the chance to meet some incredible people in my line of work and I feel blessed for that.  I spent nearly 3 decades working in the legal field before I changed careers.  (I just tell people I shovel a different type of manure now).  Ok, ok, all you lawyer types out there it was just a joke!  Believe me, I spent my time in the trenches so I feel I earned the right to take a little jab now and again.

I've actually learned a lot from working with animals.  For instance they can't add 2 + 2 but they can sure tell whether or not they like someone.  That's called 'instinct'.  They don't need Facebook or Twitter to tell them who they should or should not 'follow'.  Most of the time they'll follow food like we'll follow money anyway.  They learn more by association and repetition than we do by computers and tvs.  Perhaps we humans should take notice occasionally.  


Sunday, August 14, 2011

Country Sunday Morning

There's nothing like a clear Sunday dawn to make you think about life, the people you meet along it's path, the turns the path itself takes.  You wake up, sit on your porch drinking your coffee and as you breathe in the clean morning air you realize something: You've made it through another typical weekend!

I once made a skunk analogy and now I believe it more than ever.  We can all get a little hung up on the looks of things, like say a good horse or a new pickup.  But when it comes to people, we really should take a closer look at what's inside.  You see, you can stun a skunk, put it in a box and wrap it up all nice and pretty with a great big bow on the outside.  But you know what you get when you open that box? That's right - A SKUNK IN A BOX.

Our eyes can sometimes be bigger than our stomaches (we've all heard that saying) but our eyes should never be bigger than our hearts.  Just something to ponder over.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Could someone please tell me...

Why is it that some men feel the need to let words escape their mouth before they've been roped in by their brains?!  Honestly.  I was out last night with a couple of my best stable mates (that's 'gal pals' to you Sex and The City fans) and I was just shocked at something a complete stranger uttered to one of them.  I won't put it on here in the event younger people view this but let's just say: a face is NOT furniture.  I mean really - and you wonder why instead of a date you're out with someone who looks like they should have been dressed by their mother because what they had on sure didn't help!

But this is what I'm talking about, this is one of the challenges of finding someone to seriously date in a rural area.  Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of hard working, stand-up, won't do you wrong guys around here (and girls for that matter)... Most of them just happen to already be married or attached!  So what's a girl to do?! I've tried 'fishing' but 9 times out of 10 all I come up with is a turtle.

It's raining finally and rain is so refreshing.  You know what could use a refreshment? Those 'pick up' lines? You know the standard ones of course: "Someone call 911 cause you just stole my heart", "What's your sign?", things like that.  And just when you think you've heard them all here come more: "Hey little filly, looking for a stud?" (My answer to that is "yeah but all I keep finding are geldings"),  "You look like a real cowgirl.  Care to ride double?"  Really? Seriously? There's more cheese there than Velveeta could EVER produce. 

Here's an idea: How about "Hi there.  What's your name? It's very nice to meet you."  If the person you're talking to is still standing there by the time you get to "What's your name", odds are you might have a shot! Just saying...

I hope everyone enjoys this glorious rainy, cooler (it's below 90 right now when it's usually already 100), Saturday.  If you have had any escapades you would like to share, feel free.  We're all in this together!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Happy Friday to all...

Of course, to those of us in the agricultural community - WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE?!  One of the first things I found out about animals, is they like to eat 7 days a week just like we do.  How about that.  Hmm.  And therein lies a great part of my dilemma and the birthplace of this blog.  (Well, that and the suggestion of a friend).  I must say, though, that I wouldn't trade where and how I live for anything in the world.  I'm proud of the fact that I can haul hay, work a horse, clean stalls AND run a computer.  I can even clean up, go to dinner and carry on a somewhat intelligent conversation, too!

It's just that you see, I've found living in the country makes dating even more challenging than it already is.  By living in the country, right off the bat you automatically reduce your choice pool by population numbers alone.  Then you have the distance issue.  And those are just for starters! 

Oh, I've tried the dating websites but for some reason my 'matches' still seem to include people living 150 miles away...in the city!  Now, I have nothing against people who live in the city (I myself lived and worked in the city for many years); it's just that with the country lifestyle comes certain required adaptations.  For instance, guys or girls from the country have you ever been on a dating website and was messaged by someone asking if you could teach them to 'ride a horsey'? If you're like me, then you too accidentally hit the delete button from laughing too hard.  But then, when you do have a chance to go out and something happens, have YOU ever tried to explain to your date you can't go to dinner because your horse coliced? Seriously. I have and I could hear crickets chirping in my headset.  Perhaps someone should invent a dictionary aimed at lifestyles for these websites? 

Here's the difference in another way.  I was at a rodeo recently and a gentleman stopped me as I walked by.  He uttered that age old statement: "You look familiar. I swear I've seen you somewhere." I asked him the age old question: "You do too.  Ever been in the local Wal-Mart?"  Sadly, yes he had.  In the city, that conversation usually takes place in a bar and Wal-Mart would never enter the equation.  

So here's today's question: Is it really possible to find true love in the country... Or is it just the proverbial needle in the haystack?