In a recent conversation with a friend, I realized my quest for love was about as successful as finding a Kentucky Derby winner at a shetland pony farm. I mean, you may find diamonds at Wal-Mart but they won't be Tiffany diamonds and more than you'd pick up the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog looking for a good deal. But, somewhere in the middle there is a happy medium - no not the kind you find at a carnival.
I know I'm not the only one in this boat because Carnival Cruise Lines just rented it. Look, guys and girls alike, we've all been there - wishing we had a significant other that not only completes us but also compliments us but, after awhile, thinking we'd be happy just to have a significant other. Ohhh, careful what you wish for. You could end up with a significant other that looks real good right up until the time you put down the beer bottle bottoms you were using as binoculars.
It's not that difficult - or it shouldn't be anyway. It appears though that during the quest for someone special, I inevitably end up with what I call the "Bernie Madoffs" of the dating world. You know the type, they're kind of like Las Vegas slot machines - they'll take and take and take, giving back a little about the time you're ready to give up. Back in the 1950s they'd have knocked on your door dressed like a door to door encyclopedia salesman. And they last about as long as a Madoff investment, since the internet killed the encyclopedia like the video killed the radio star.
We all know what Madoff and the encyclopedia have in common don't you? They both were full of bad information and they both went away forever. So, the moral of the story today kids: On your quest for love, keep your brain in your head if you wear your heart on your sleeve... Unless you're like me - my cardiologist is still the only person who believes I even have a heart.