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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

THE SCARIEST TRICK? ... TEENAGERS!


 
WELCOME TO MY ‘WEB’….
 

EEEEEKKKKK! Good thing it’s Halloween – I’d hate for all this good fright to go to waste. Have you ever had the opportunity to read some of the text messages on your teenager’s phone, especially any that pertain to you? Well I have and talk about an eyeball-popping, blood curdling scream experience!

Seriously, if you EVER want to know how your kids feel about you, read their text. Believe me, they’re in too big a hurry to edit (or sugar coat) it. Now, hold on, save those pitchforks and cauldrons for trick or treating – I wasn’t just snooping. If the little darling isn’t wise enough to keep it put away from the prying eyes of school administrators then it’s fair game as ‘inquiring minds want to know’.

All I can say, though, is careful what you wish for, especially when the motto of the day is “TRICK OR TREAT”. Now, your experience could be different than mine; perhaps your young man (or lady) thinks you do no wrong and walk on water (in which case may I point the way to the Vatican in Rome as that’s where all saints go). My experience, however, was one that I could equate to kinda like loving chocolate but being allergic to peanut butter and getting nothing but Reese’s and Snickers in your Halloween pumpkin.
 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL… May you all have more treats than tricks (unless you prefer it the other way around in which case is a whole other blogpost!)

 

 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

CUE CARDS AND THE CHANGING CANVAS


In light of the darkness brought about by what was “Hurricane Sandy”, or “Frankenstorm”, or whatever you wish to call it, I am overwhelmed by the gravity of the climatological catastrophe that will no doubt forever change the landscape of the Northeast United States.  But I also subscribe to that old saying: “If I don’t laugh, I’m just gonna sit right down and cry.”
Besides, one could make the argument that especially in the dark, levity does provide some light. I myself am no stranger to that concept, choosing to use humor as a defense mechanism in the face of strife. (Of course that may be why those around me say I have a sick sense of humor sometimes, too.)

I’ve been seeing all these ‘fake’ photos circulating around the web, allegedly showing scenes of sharks swimming through a neighborhood street or water washing waist high on the Statue of Liberty and they got me to thinking… I know, I know about time right?! Anywho… thinking… makes you think - those make about as much sense as the meteorologists standing knee deep in water, struggling against 40 mph wind gusts all the while reading cue cards telling us “If you’re in this area GET OUT”.  Umm… They call them cue cards for a reason people!

Oh, and speaking of cue cards (you knew I was gonna head my horse down this trail at some point didn’t you) wouldn’t they be convenient to have on a date! I’ve been in more than a few situations in the past when they would’ve come in downright handy. For instance, the time I agreed to go on a date with a guy that I met at the auto parts store only to find out he didn’t have a car. Non-driving auto guy - How’s that for an oxymoron… or just plain moron? Anyway, I sure could’ve used a cue card to get me out of that one.  

Anyway, in all sincerity, to all those on the East Coast, my thoughts and prayers go out for you. I hope for you the ability to see that yesterday’s landscape is now perhaps tomorrow’s canvas and that your heart and your strength are able to guide your brush. 

 

Friday, October 26, 2012

NEVER JUDGE A FACE(book) BY ITS COVER


Ok, I’d like to take a poll here (I have to because my soapbox’s last Facebook status put it somewhere near Austin).  Anyway, like I was saying – a poll.  How many of you (men and women) are in some sort of a relationship?... Wow, that many?... Then let’s whittle it down a bit as my Papaw use to say. How many of you are in a relationship and have your real relationship status posted on your Facebook for all the world to see? I’m impressed. Now, one more question. How many of you are in a relationship, with your status posted for the world’s view and are accepting friends that your significant other has no clue who they are and THEIR status says… you guessed it… SINGLE?! I wondered where that cricket went! Well, then, here’s a better question… WHY?
 A friend and I were visiting recently and we decided to do some poking around on Facebook (no not the Facebook version) just to take a random sampling – kinda like the county fair pie judges do. To say we hit paydirt would be like calling the California Gold Strike a winning scratch-off ticket.
Now I realize there are those in the herd (mares and stallions alike) that change their relationship status so often it’s like breeding season at the ranch. Of course they would be more difficult to keep up with (like TMZ trying to keep up with James Bond’s girlfriends). But this isn’t really about that herd. This is more for those who really do at least make an attempt to have one filly (or stallion) in their barn.
So, now back to the original question of WHY. If their answer is something like “My computer did it”, well that’s the equivalent of “The dog ate my homework” (and about as likely). Ok, ok, ok, now stop that – that last tomato almost hit me! Yes, I realize there ARE exceptions and allowances like those people from work or in that person’s industry. Geez! I’m from the country not an Alaskan tundra after all.
To sum it up: Guys, if you’re in a relationship with an alpha mare but decide you fancy the filly with the stockings on the other side of the fence, then before the alpha mare turns you into the ‘literary’ gelding, you might want to make sure you're ready to clear the fence first. (Otherwise you could end up a gelding one way or another anyhow.) I hear a few of you mares whinnying at that so just hold up... If you’re happy with your own private treaty breeding program, then you might want to give your stallion the heads up if some little colt wants to meet you at the fence! (It can get awfully cold and lonely when you're the only one in your barn - and that goes for fillies and colts alike).