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Thursday, January 26, 2012

LOVE-LIFE or SELF-LOVE?

I've noticed some things in the news lately that have me thinking and we all know what happens when I start thinking. That's right, a little more use out of my shiny new soap box. This topic, however, is a little more serious; it's a topic concerning the all-consuming quest for love. Now, like the knights of ole, this quest may take many paths but they all arrive at the same forest - the "SHERWOOD BE NICE TO FIND LOVE FOREST". 

In today's media we see all of these beautiful, rich, famous women (and men) and we all think the same thing: "Boy have they got it all!" With Demi Moore's recent interview quotes and health lapse, though, I think it drives home the point that, just like us, they face the same challenges and the same quests especially when it comes to love. 

It doesn't matter if you're from the country, a big city or somewhere in between, we've all had the same thoughts Demi has... Am I lovable? Deep down, we all have that bit of insecurity and at the root of it there is always some turning point/event in our lives that has bolstered it. I'm a firm believer in the thought that we should be able to love ourselves before others can but, like a knight on a quest, that can prove to be the deepest, darkest, thickest part of the forest to trudge through. 

How someone else loves you should never dictate how you love yourself. We start our lives completely innocent, understanding only unconditional love but, with time and life, that changes. What a shame. How many of you with kids remember looking at your newborn and thinking "This is the greatest part of me there could ever be"? I know I did that with all of mine. Thing to remember is, our kids ARE the greatest part of us, they are our LOVE. And, if that's the case, then why shouldn't we be lovable? 

I recall your attention to my post of September 20, 2011 entitled "Magic Time Machine" (I'll be reposting it along with this one and urge you to re-read it.)  It revolves around something that happened to me when I was 8 years old. A little boy from my class was on his way to see me when he was run over and killed. This was someone who meant a lot to me, even at that age and to this day, I carry that with me. From then into my adult life, I felt guilty that he had died on his way to my house.  When I read that letter he was carrying for the first time, my thoughts began to change.  I started to believe through his death I had a chance rediscover my life and, more importantly, I AM lovable... as we all can be.  

Sometimes, in the quest for love of others, we forget what's at the core of the quest to begin with. So, rather than always galloping down the love-life trail, maybe we should rein in and lope the path to our own self-love. You never know what may be in the next clearing...

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

HOW DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?

Where was I? Oh, yes, a continuation of my last outing with my little pasture pals. You know it's a crazy night when you can get more than one blog post out of it! Anyway, like I was saying, that wasn't even the end of the night. If there's one thing I learned the other night it's this: There are 2 instances where you should never use the phrase "I think" - 1) in business and, 2) girls night out.  Believe me, they're equally bad.

After the puppy parade was over, I spied a tall drink of water at the bar (and I'm not talking the Deja Blue brand). One of my pals happened to notice me glancing that way and was curious as to what had my attention so I covertly nodded my head and mouthed the words "he's at my 3 o'clock". She asked me if I knew him to which I replied "I don't think so". So, we watched him; we watched him stand at the bar then watched a big brunette swoop down on him like a hawk after a rabbit and drag (ok, lead) him to the dance floor. Wow, he can actually dance - checkmark number 2.  Now, friends, if wheels one and two fell off the wagon with the puppy parade incident here's where wheels 3, 4 and the spare all came off... 

So, as we were both straining to get a better look that got the attention of one of our other members (one who had had a lot more to drink than we 2 had). Turned out she knew him. At that point, that mare took the bit in her teeth and was off to the races - with me in tow like the wheeless wagon I was. 

She tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned around she delivered me up like a kid handing his first grade teacher a Christmas present. And believe me, that's about how little I felt.  I HAD met him, some months ago in another club just north of Dallas. I don't know what grew faster the mule ears on my head or the red in my face. All I could say was "Uh-Oh. I think I know you". What was worse was he remembered my name but I didn't remember his. Don't you hate it when that happens?! But, I have to say, he was a good sport about it.

Moral of the story: Take a sneak peak at someone with your glasses ON before you let myself get trotted out like a prize filly at the county fair.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

IS IT JUST ME?!....

Or has anyone ever had this happen to them? You're out on the town with your pasture pals, kickin' up your hooves and havin' a head slingin' good time and you think "Wow, what a great night"... I've discovered that having that thought is like the proverbial "Nothing else can go wrong" thought - of course it can. How you handle the situation is what separates the stallions from the geldings and the mares from the fillies.

Just so happens that last night was one of those nights for yours truly here.  There I was having a nice evening out with the girls, having a little drink, dancing a few dances, all in all a good time in progress.  Then, suddenly, the wheels fell off the wagon.  

The first thing that happened was something that happens to me 9 times out of 10 when I go out.  I call it the puppy parade.  We're sitting at a table when a young pup walks up and there can be 3 empty seats at the table but he's gonna take the one by me.  Last night that's exactly what happened. A young man who was obviously intoxicated (I say obviously because as he made his way up the aisle he had more sway than a downhill skier) headed our direction like he was on a mission from God as they say.  He plopped right down next to me and as he plopped down, I popped up. Good news is when I returned from the ladies' room he was no longer in that seat next to me, bad news is he had only moved over one. 

Now, don't get me wrong - I like flattery just as much as the next lady but it's much better when it's not drooled on you.  Of course it didn't end well last night - for him anyway. He continued to try to get my attention, asking questions, showering compliments, asking one of my girlfriends if she would share her beer with him. Gotta say, that last one certainly got my attention and not in a good way. 

He finally resorted to taking his foot and running it up my leg under the table.  Guys, here's a word to the wise - unless you're with someone you've been with for 5 years then DON'T DO THAT!!!! What in your right mind makes you think we like that? I'm betting that provided he actually remembers last night he won't do that again. My response you ask? Typical. I jumped up, telling him to keep his *.*. foot to himself or he'd find himself on the floor and out the door! He wasn't so drunk that he didn't understand his directions, I can tell you that. He disappeared quicker than a politician's campaign fund.

As if that weren't enough, that wasn't even the end of the night! But I'll tell you more about that next time. For now, remember this: If you want to impress someone, you'll have a better shot if you don't stumble, mumble, and drool like a fool.


Thursday, January 12, 2012

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!

Look out now, cause the shiny new soapbox Santa brought me for Christmas is made of STEEL - and has a warranty. You know, I just absolutely love it when a guy messages me that he completely agrees with my statement that it's what's in the package that counts then promptly asks "Are those all the photos you have?"!  (Please note the sarcasm there.)  

Seriously, do guys not understand that that question is the equivalent of asking us girls "Is that all you got?" It's like they're looking for something they're not quite seeing in the 5 photos right in front of them. What do they think - we have our spare cup size tucked away behind our back or something?!

Here's an idea. How about we start turning the tables on them? For example, let's say you're looking at a guy's profile and from what you can read he's a pretty nifty guy so you go in for a closer look at HIS pictures.  I bet HE wouldn't like YOU asking "Is that all you got?"! But guys, well guys just don't think like that.  Here's their profile perusal path: stare at photos, glance at profile, stare at photos. Then, if you're lucky (sorta), they'll next send you a message where they'll say "hi". 

Guys, the proper stare/glance/message ratio is approximately 2:1:2. That means, if you're gonna spend two minutes staring at our photos disassembling us like Lincoln logs, may I suggest you spend at least that much time coming up with something more than 'hi'... Yes, I know I've covered that but apparently there are way too many out there who didn't read that post so I'm gonna repeat it - gotta get use out of that soapbox you know.  If the subject of your message is 'hi' then I assure you - WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME! 

Surely you can come up with something a little more interesting. Why do that you ask? Simple, if you can't come up with more than 'hi' in a message then how in the world do you expect us to carry on a conversation with you? Look at it this way: the 'hi' to 'delete' ratio is about 1:1. Those are odds you won't get in Vegas. 


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

THE TRUTH OF YOUTH

We've all heard those sayings like: "Youth is wasted on the young", "young at heart", and "the fountain of youth" or one of my favorites: "Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age".  And that's where I'd like to start.  I've noticed in the dating realm that more and more I'm getting hit on by younger guys and less and less by those my own age or older.  I don't know if I should be flattered or flabbergasted.

Trust me when I say there is very LITTLE truth in the saying "Get 'em young and train 'em right". The only thing I want wagging its tail and tongue at me has FOUR legs not two.  It's the equivalent of employers nowadays not wanting to go through a long drawn-out interview process to procure a new employee then spend months training them only to have them jump ship for the newer, sleeker yacht next door. 

We, ladies, shouldn't need some young thing at our side to help us feel young when in reality all we have to do is engage in activities that draw out our own youth.... Ok, well, besides THAT activity... You know what I mean.  I firmly believe we are each our own fountain of youth but that sometimes we just need to 'prime the pump' so to speak.  

To me, youth isn't wasted on the young, it's simply wasted on the lazy. So if forty is the old age of youth, and fifty is the youth of old age then I'm so glad 30 is a speck in my rear view mirror. Guys, when you're looking for that 'younger' woman remember a woman who is young at heart is just as real as one who is young at the DMV. 


  

Friday, January 6, 2012

New Year, New Quest

Well, hello there sports fans.  Did you miss me? Don't worry, apparently neither did any of my exes. But Santa did bring me a shiny new soap box for Christmas! Apparently what I really asked for he said wouldn't fit in my stocking... quite laughing - I meant a new boyfriend!  Speaking of NEW, does anyone besides me dread New Years resolutions? Better yet, how many of us have actually kept any? If you're like me, well, they lasted about as long as any ex did... not that long.

But what would life be without a quest of some sort? What do you mean 'what's a quest?' I think if you change the word 'resolution' to 'quest' it would give the concept a bit more mystique. And who doesn't like a little 'mystique' in their life? Male or female. Quest calls to mind the days of old, knights on a white horse seeking the ever elusive truth, the one true passion of life's journey (like Braveheart).  See, now doesn't that sound better than 'resolution' which is reminiscent of oh, I don't know... Donald Trump? Hmm, Braveheart in the Trump's boardroom - VISUAL! Wouldn't you like to be in that board room? That wouldn't be a battle of the minds as much as a battle of the hair! 

So, this year's quest? For one, to be more successful than last year's. Other than that I guess it's about being more open minded to looking where I'm going.  After all, you can't open the next pasture gate if you're not looking for it... Right?