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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Two's Company, Three's a Crowd

You can't fight a ghost.  There really is a lot of truth in that one.  When you're in a relationship with someone it's my opinion there are more than just the 2 of you in the room.  I'm not just talking about kids here.  In this case I'm talking about exes.  We all have at least 1 or 2 (or 12) by this point in our lives and some are more significant than others.  

If you've ever walked through an old Antebellum home in the Deep South you can understand the feeling of a 'presence' near you.  The only difference here is it isn't Uncle Henry with a moonshine jug chasing a damn yankee through the dining room.   No, this one actually has a pulse - and a cell phone. Question is, how do you exorcise it?  Short answer is, you don't.  Uncle Henry has a better chance at catching his yankee.

What I can tell you is if you see a person online or meet someone you think you could be interested in and you find out they're 'separated' then proceed with extreme caution. If separated were on a traffic sign it's symbol would be a s-curve!  And we all know what happens if you try to straighten out one of those! 

You always run the risk of a third presence in a relationship but if someone's just separated the risk is nuclear! The good thing about living in a small town is you have a better shot at knowing all the parties involved. 

If you'd like one of my infamous examples - here you go.  I once met someone who was in the early stages of a divorce (ok, ok, separated but filed).  Anyway, he made no bones about the fact of what his situation was so at least I had a heads up.  I was only ever introduced as a 'friend' which was ok with me at first.  The tide turned when one day we were taking a leisurely drive in the country and suddenly he shoved me down in the car as we just happened by a relative of his ex.  (There's that small town thing). As I bounced back up, covered in coffee, I realized I was being taken for a ride in more ways than one.  That relationship ended up having more twists and turns than a Louisiana politician.  

To me, divorce means the pasture gate is wide open and latched back while separation's pasture gate swings haplessly in the breeze... and you don't want that gate to hit you on the way out. 
  

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