You've heard that saying before haven't you? 'It ain't bragging if you can do it.' Whoever invented that must've been at a bar on Saturday night around here. Recently I had occasion to go out with a girlfriend to a local dancehall. You can learn a lot more by just standing around and listening. It always tickles me to listen to a group of guys trying to 'one up' each other. In all fairness to the guys here though, we girls have been prone to doing the same thing. I can't tell you how many cousins of Gisselle must be in these parts.
Anyway, I was standing next to 3 'cowboys' (I use that term as loosely here as you would to describe one of the Jersey Shore girls as a 'lady'). As the night and beer wore on, I saw a transformation right in front of me. One by one their fairy beer mother turned them into PRCA bullriders. (At least they got the bull right). But, with each lady they attempted to woo, their tales of daring rides and life altering experiences grew larger. Thing is, I knew one of these guys and the closest he EVER got to a bull was a steak at Texas Roadhouse.
Many, many decades back, I dated a guy like that. His bragging must have loved alcohol because that's where he kept finding it... the bottom of a beer bottle. One evening as lots of us were gathered around a bonfire he was on a roll and decided it was time to pick on his date - me. It started out with him going on and on about what a better rider he was (although he didn't own a horse as long as I knew him). For whatever reason, he felt that was the perfect segway to inform the women there of what he believed to be his sexual prowess. That was it, that was the end of the line for my patience and my temper. At one point he made the quip "It ain't the size of the wave, it's the motion of the ocean" to which I replied "Then that would make you the Dead Sea". Yep, you guessed it - I had to find another ride home that night.
So what do we take from this? If you're gonna brag, you better make sure you've got the spurs!
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