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Sunday, January 22, 2012

IS IT JUST ME?!....

Or has anyone ever had this happen to them? You're out on the town with your pasture pals, kickin' up your hooves and havin' a head slingin' good time and you think "Wow, what a great night"... I've discovered that having that thought is like the proverbial "Nothing else can go wrong" thought - of course it can. How you handle the situation is what separates the stallions from the geldings and the mares from the fillies.

Just so happens that last night was one of those nights for yours truly here.  There I was having a nice evening out with the girls, having a little drink, dancing a few dances, all in all a good time in progress.  Then, suddenly, the wheels fell off the wagon.  

The first thing that happened was something that happens to me 9 times out of 10 when I go out.  I call it the puppy parade.  We're sitting at a table when a young pup walks up and there can be 3 empty seats at the table but he's gonna take the one by me.  Last night that's exactly what happened. A young man who was obviously intoxicated (I say obviously because as he made his way up the aisle he had more sway than a downhill skier) headed our direction like he was on a mission from God as they say.  He plopped right down next to me and as he plopped down, I popped up. Good news is when I returned from the ladies' room he was no longer in that seat next to me, bad news is he had only moved over one. 

Now, don't get me wrong - I like flattery just as much as the next lady but it's much better when it's not drooled on you.  Of course it didn't end well last night - for him anyway. He continued to try to get my attention, asking questions, showering compliments, asking one of my girlfriends if she would share her beer with him. Gotta say, that last one certainly got my attention and not in a good way. 

He finally resorted to taking his foot and running it up my leg under the table.  Guys, here's a word to the wise - unless you're with someone you've been with for 5 years then DON'T DO THAT!!!! What in your right mind makes you think we like that? I'm betting that provided he actually remembers last night he won't do that again. My response you ask? Typical. I jumped up, telling him to keep his *.*. foot to himself or he'd find himself on the floor and out the door! He wasn't so drunk that he didn't understand his directions, I can tell you that. He disappeared quicker than a politician's campaign fund.

As if that weren't enough, that wasn't even the end of the night! But I'll tell you more about that next time. For now, remember this: If you want to impress someone, you'll have a better shot if you don't stumble, mumble, and drool like a fool.


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