Do you ever have times when you wish the cat would get someone's tongue before they uttered the words that got your goat?! Huh? What do you mean you don't understand? Didn't your granny ever ask you "Cat got your tongue?" Or how about your papaw exclaim "Well that just gets my goat!" Must be a Southern thing. Anyway, one such situation arose for me recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know... "Big surprise."
You see, I was visiting with someone (of the male persuasion) on the phone the other night and honestly, even though the conversation lasted about 20 minutes, the wheels fell off in the first 5. I spent the next 15 trying to get him to shut up so I could hang up. Who was it you ask? Oh, another prospect from one of those online dating sites of course. Another golden opportunity that turned out to be full of iron pyrite (aka fool's gold) along with something else if you get my drift.
Oh, it all started nice enough. We discussed the usual opening, name, occupation, hobbies, kids. It was at that point, though that things took a southern turn if you will. He had remarked repeatedly on how his kids were good at this thing, how they were excellent at that thing and when he mentioned something in common with mine I interjected that observation and promptly had my head verbally taken off!
I guess I wasn't aware of the new dating rule that says you're not allowed to offer experiences that top a guy's kids... Could someone kindly forward that to me so I don't make THAT mistake again? And everyone who believes that last question was serious please take 10 steps on a 2 foot pier.
The moral of today's story: if you intend to censor what a woman says then allow me to add another animal to the barnyard cat and goat - a flying pig - because you'll see that before you see a second date if you intend to keep doing that.
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