THE SECRET INGREDIENT

I’m not just talking about the sugar in your Mamaw’s cornbread or the beer in your Papaw’s hushpuppies. And no, I’m not even talking about General Petraeus’ squeeze – although she does give new meaning to the phrase ‘soldier’s sidearm’ … that’s a whole other blog… coming soon to a sarcasm theater near you. This time, I’m talking about something a little closer to home. This time, I’m referring to that one thing you can’t put your finger on that just seems to be missing from someone.

Now, let’s go back to the sugar in the cornbread and beer in the hushpuppies analogies for a moment. Let’s say you have 2 pans of cornbread in front of you – one with the ‘secret’ ingredient and one without and you’re asked to do a taste test and see if you can tell the difference… Well, duh… of course you can (especially if you’re from the south). You see, while they’re both very good, the one with the sugar just has a little something extra, something that makes you go ‘mmm mmm mmm I’d like some more of that!’ It’s that something extra that is so good you’ll risk reaching for it if the lights go out with one slice left on the plate and everyone but you is armed with a fork.  Yes, been there done that, got the fork holes in my hand to prove it!

Anybody see where I’m going with this yet? I knew you were smart. Of course you do… relationships. Just like those secret ingredients, there’s something we’re always looking for in that special someone in our lives. Whether it’s an extra dedication to work, or the person who always seems to have a little extra time for their kids or their parents or close family members.

For me, my sugar is compassion. It’s that person who has the heart of little “Cindy Lou” as opposed to the “Grinch” from Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. Without compassion, children can’t be cured from cancer because no one would care to give. Without compassion, soldiers returning home from war would all be homeless and hungry because no one would care enough to see them and take them in. I look for someone who cares for more than just what’s in their immediate vicinity – for that shows the true depth of their heart.

To me, compassion is the sugar - the secret ingredient in a relationship. Like the cornbread with no sugar, if it’s missing, it isn’t good enough to keep me wanting more. There’s a saying that the most important ingredient in a recipe is LOVE. And here in the south that ranks right up there with the lard that goes into our homemade pie crusts! Why should it be any different in a relationship?  Without compassion, love is sugarless cornbread.

This week, especially, how about we all use a little extra sugar… and not just in the cornbread!